


If I'd Found The Right Words To Say

by ThePenguinOfDeath



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Dimension Travel, F/M, Falling In Love, Hope, Love, Love Confessions, Parallel Universes, Time Travel, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-02
Updated: 2013-12-02
Packaged: 2018-01-03 07:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1067570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePenguinOfDeath/pseuds/ThePenguinOfDeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Rose and the Doctor, aside from their dangerous adventures, and how the words that most needed to be said never quite managed to be. Set before Rose's appearance in season 4.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I'd Found The Right Words To Say

**Author's Note:**

> Also published on ff dot net.

Contrary to popular belief, Rose and the Doctor very rarely got into mishaps on their travels. Those were the trips that they talked about – the ones where they encountered monsters or robots or other life-threatening things – but most of their journeys through time and space were calm, and relaxing, just the two of them exploring the Universe without a care in the world.

They visited Pandatorea, the planet of the great lakes, and went swimming with the fish, laughing and splashing for hours until they were too tired to swim any more. They visited The Library when it was at the height of the tourist season (before the Vashta Nerada appeared), Rose laughing as the Doctor ran from section to section, pointing out his favourite books and showering Rose with recommendations (and kisses when no-one was looking). They travelled to Felspoon and stared up at the mountains swaying in the breeze, holding hands and just taking in the comfort of each others companionship. When she got tired, Rose laid her head on the Doctor's shoulder and they stood there, watching as the night fell, not saying a word in case it ruined the moment.

One of Rose's favourite journeys had been to the Blue Desert of Indigo 3. They had intended to have a picnic on the edge of the desert, just admiring the novelty of blue sand while eating sandwiches and apples (never pears, Rose knew better than to suggest pears) but a sandstorm had blown up, causing them to run, giggling like children, with a picnic blanket over their heads to shield them from the sand. It's hard to find a blue TARDIS when surrounded by blue sand, and they had spent nearly an hour searching before just collapsing to the ground to wait it out, Rose falling on top of the Doctor underneath the blanket, staring into his eyes.

It wasn't hard to find something to do to pass the time.

They visited Earth plenty of times as well, at various points through history – witnessing the launch of the rocket that took the first men to the moon, and wandering through the Amazon before deforestation had decimated most of its beauty. The Doctor had berated Rose after she discovered a local tribe and declared that she was a god due to her white skin, leading the tribes-people to feed them a delicious, albeit exotic, meal and perform an interesting sort of ritual dance. Rose had just laughed and enjoyed the show, telling the Doctor to 'live a little every now and again'. Despite his protests, he clearly enjoyed it just as much as Rose did.

Sometimes, the two of them didn't bother to land anywhere in particular – they just allowed the TARDIS to float through the time stream, spending time exploring the various rooms inside – or exploring each other, if they could both be persuaded. Which was often.

But the best time, the time that they never talked about yet thought about more than any other, was the time they visited Astra.

They had landed in the middle of a great city, absolutely buzzing with activity and life, and the Doctor had led Rose around, taking her to shops, monuments and anywhere else that he felt would be of interest. They had dined at an Intergalactic Cafe and become involved in a discussion with a pair of Morok generals, who had been astounded by Rose's descriptions of war on Earth. She had been slightly concerned afterwards that she had just persuaded them to start an invasion (she had – but that was another story).

Finally, once the Doctor was satisfied that he had given Rose the perfect tourist experience, they had checked into a luxurious skyscraper hotel with a view over the city, to get a chance to relax before they moved off again.

That had been the night when the Doctor had come the closest to saying 'I love you'.

It had started with their normal nightly routine – the Doctor had given Rose a gentle kiss, cupping her face in his hand and running his thumb affectionately over her cheek, before attempting to excuse himself for the night. As usual, Rose had grabbed his hand, pulling him back into the room with her to resume the kiss, before slowly moving to the bed like she had all the time in the world. After all, when you were with the Doctor, it seemed like you did. They had collapsed together, happy and sated, and simply lain there enjoying the atmosphere, the Doctor absent-mindedly drawing patterns onto the skin of Rose's back.

"You're brilliant, you know that? Absolutely brilliant." He had looked directly into her eyes as he spoke, and Rose smiled lazily back, propping herself up on her elbows.

"Not as brilliant as you."

"Oh, don't be silly." The Doctor pulled a face.

"It's true though. No-one could be as brilliant as you. It's one of the reasons why I love you."

The Doctor had looked surprised when Rose said that, and she had wondered if she had overstepped the mark, but then he had smiled gently and leant back in.

"Rose Tyler." He had said simply. "You are incredible, don't ever try and downplay that. I wouldn't be here without you. You are my world."

Perhaps he hadn't said 'I love you' in words, but it passed between them, unspoken, and Rose had never felt happier or more cherished than in that moment.

Then the Daleks had returned, and Rose had ended up stranded, an entire universe away from the Doctor. Her Doctor. The man that she had loved more than the universe and would have given anything, absolutely anything, to return to.

She cherished those memories – the ones where they were fighting, saving each other, but also the ones where everything had been calm, and they had been able to relax, just with each other, able to forget about the rest of the universe for a moment. That night on Astra had become her favourite memory to visit whenever she felt down – the feel of his fingers on her skin, the way he had held her, and the words he had spoken. 'You are my world.'

He had never told her that he loved her. That last moment on the beach, those stolen final minutes, he hadn't been able to get it out – not even when he knew he would never see her again. Rose had felt like screaming when he had disappeared before saying it – she just knew that was what he had been about to say, the words that she had wanted to hear above all others for so long. It had made the ending even more bitter – their relationship had still only been beginning, and now it would never be allowed to run the course that it had deserved to.

But even without the words, Rose never doubted that the love had been there. It always had been – surrounding them like a blanket, keeping them going despite the monsters and everything else in the universe that had been out to get them. Even if the Doctor had refused to admit it. Even if he wasn't capable of saying it. The emotion had been there, and Rose would never forget it.

Rose sighed as she flopped back on her bed in the universe she had ended up in. They had been the best few months of her life, the ones that she had spent with the Doctor. Better by far than the time she had spent at school, or in that dead-end rut with her mum afterwards. Better even than the time that he had now, with a complete family, her dad alive and everyone thriving, happy, in a brilliant new life. Better than anything that could happen in the future.

Smiling slightly, she picked up her one tenuous remaining link with the Doctor – the device that could travel across dimensions, and ran her fingers over it. She shouldn't use it – he had made that quite clear. These devices could rip holes in the fabric of space and time and no-one knew how terrible the consequences of that could be. Not even the Doctor.

However, with the love he and Rose shared, what did the rest of the universe matter?

After a few moments, Rose set the device down again. She wouldn't use that yet. Not until everything was crashing down around her and she needed to help the Doctor once again.

The day would come. She knew that much. One day, she would see the Doctor again – and then perhaps they could finally say the words that needed to be said.

"I love you."


End file.
